An Angel to Fight With
by BloodRedTwilight
Summary: Takes place during New Moon. Something has happened to Bella and Edward must return to Forks. But what will he find left of his one and only love?      Suck at summaries. Read if you wanna. Review if you wanna. Enjoy.
1. Preface

**Well I know no one reads these, but Im going to give you a fair warning: other than the next chapter, I will not be updating for a while. I have other things I have to do in my life and writing fanfiction is not at the top of my priority list. I just saw what I had already written on my computer files and thought I might as well post it. But other than these two chapters, I wont be updating for a while. Alright, enjoy the story, review if you want, I enjoy reading your thoughts (good or bad). **

An Angel to Fight With

Preface

**BPOV**

I groaned while switching positions in my chair again. I felt the same small tingling in my spine I'd been feeling for the last few weeks, and knew it wouldn't go away unless I moved somehow, but I needed to get my homework done – and I was not in the mood to go pacing around the house.

"Something wrong Bells?" Charlie asked from his spot across the table. I decided I might as well tell him.

"Yeah," I said hesitantly, trying to keep my voice casual but all I could manage was my usual expressionless tone. "I've been getting this weird feeling in my back for the last few weeks, and it won't go away." I said, annoyed.

"Do you want me to schedule an appointment with Dr. Gerandy, just to see if it's some upcoming virus? He'll probably subscribe something to make it stop." Charlie offered, his dark eyebrows pulling together in worry.

"Yes, please." I murmured, getting back to my homework.

**Four Days Later**

We waited for Dr. Gerandy to return with the results of the test they were doing on the spinal fluid the extracted from me. My back was still sore, I'm not very fond of needles.

Just then the door of the small room swung open and Dr. Gerandy came through with a very sad and worried expression. He shut the door behind him and looked down grounding his teeth, he looked very uncomfortable.

"Well what's wrong?" Charlie burst out, looking slightly scared. I jumped then looked back to Dr. Gerandy expectantly.

Dr. Gerandy jumped too and looked up with a helpless expression. Then he looked back down and spoke to the floor. "Well-" he cleared his throat. "I don't know how to tell you this Bella, and there's no easy way of saying it either." he paused and looked me in the eye. "Bella, you have cancer."

He started going on about things that had to be done while Charlie was raging on about something. I saw his lips moving, but I didn't here anything from them. Then everything went black and unconsciousness welcomed me like an old friend. Arms open, with a smile on their face.

Only this state of unconsciousness was different then just passing out. I was aware of my surroundings but my eyes stayed closed and it left me unable to feel any emotion. So when I fell 'unconscious' I could feel Charlie and Dr. Gerandy both trying to hold me up. But they might as well have let me fall. Because while Dr. Gerandy call for help, I had already thought through what has happened and what will happen.

I'm giving up. I can't go on.

**Alice's POV**

Rosalie and I were in an argument on the song 'Disturbia' by Rihanna when it happened.

" How could you like that beat?" Rosalie sneered in disgust, and looked at me as if I was crazy.

"How could you _not_ like that beat." I shot back, walking to my stereos and turning it up.

Rosalie winced, but I knew better, she was reacting to the song not the volume.

Our hearts weren't into to fight but it was a normal way to pass time, a distraction. Ever since we moved from Forks a lot of our daily activities turned into that. Distractions. Although nobody would say it out loud, for fear of upsetting everyone else, we all missed Forks. Wait, correction. We all missed Bella. Even Rosalie, but she was too vain to admit it.

"_Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum." _I sang along, while slightly bouncing to the beat. Rosalie reached for the controls. I grabbed her wrist and glared at her. She glared right back, then tried for the controls again. I shoved her this time and she growled. I was about to pounce on her when I was overtaken by a vision.

_Vision start:_

_Bella was sitting in a private waiting room with Charlie at the Forks community hospital, tapping her foot nervously. Then Dr. Gerandy entered and shut the door with an uncomfortable and sad look on his face._

"_What is it?" Charlie demanded, sitting up in his chair with a worried and confused expression._

_Dr. Gerandy winced at his words and looked to the floor. "Well I don't know how to tell you this Bella." he started off nervously. "And there's no easy way to it either." He sighed and looked into Bella's eyes. "Bella you have cancer."_

_Vision end._

Before I could even think through what happened I had hollered out Edward's name , my voice filled with terror in my own ears. My breath came quicker and I felt scared… then calm. As Jasper came in the room I turned to him and rushed into his arms. He kissed my forehead and ran his fingers through my hair, giving me time before I was questioned.

I took a shuddering breath and looked up into Jasper's eyes. "We need to find Edward." I said, then looked around noticing that everyone had rushed in. Carlisle and Esme both had looks of concern and in Esme's case, slight panic. I turned to Carlisle, him being the head of the family, I figured I should face him while saying to horrid news I'd heard.

I thought about my vision again and my bottom lip shook, if I was human tears would be streaming down my face. Jasper's arms tightened around me. Letting me know he was there for me. I looked up at Carlisle and took an unnecessary breath. Then I said the words that put them all in shock.

"Bella's has cancer."

**EPOV**

_Bella _

_Bella_

_Bella_

Ever since I left her nothing else had crossed my mind. Not hunting, not tracking, not even being with my family. Just my Bella.

I know I should stop purposely thinking about her, it's pure torture. A blazing pain that pierces my chest and makes me clutch my sides in agony. Yet I never want it to stop, it's the closest thing I've got to Bella.

_Masochistic, _I thought bitterly. _If only Bella could see me now._

Of coarse that thought brought on a new wave of pain that made me groan. Yet I pleasured the pain as I ground my teeth together, and continued to think about my B-

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

Not again! I swear I am going to kill Alice! She knows I'm not coming back, it would just make everyone miserable. She usually calls once and a while to check up but this is getting ridiculous! She's called me twenty six times in the last two hours!

I groaned and snapped open the phone angrily. "Alice, for the last time. I'm not coming home! So stop calling me!" I yelled into the phone. I was about to hang up when Alice's panicked voice stopped me.

"Wait! Edward, wait! Don't hang up!" she said franticly. "Are you there" she said hesitantly after a few seconds.

"If I wasn't wouldn't the phone line be dead?" I responded harshly. "Now what do you want?" I said, still angry that she hadn't yet given me a reason not to hang up. Then I heard a quiet sob from the other side of the phone, obviously one that she attempted to hold back. I instantly regretted yelling at her. "Alice? Alice I'm sorry." I apologized. "I'm just really frustrated right now." I said, raking my fingers through my hair.

"I know." came Alice's soft reply. "But Edward you have to come home." I growled. "No, listen Edward. You _need_ to come home. Something's gone terribly wrong." I stopped growling and waited for her to finish.

"Go on." I urged.

"It's about Bella." she said quietly, and the phone slipped from my hand. I was in shock. I heard the phone clatter to the floor, I almost couldn't bring myself to pick it up again. But I did.

"Edward, are you still there?" Alice asked, panic rising in her voice again.

"Y-yeah." I stuttered. Something was terribly wrong, and it had to do with my Bella. I wanted to hang up and let the pain take over, but I had to hear what Alice had to say. I had to know what was wrong with Bella.

"Alice, please hurry and tell me what's w-wrong." I forced through unfeeling lips.

"I'm sorry , Edward. It's just that… Bella needs you now… because… well… she has cancer Edward! I'm sorry!" she blurted out, and then the line went dead.


	2. Chapter 1  Masochist

Chapter 1

Masochist

**BPOV**

My throat ached as I stared out the window of my hospital room. Holding back tears can be painful especially when everyone around you is sobbing. I knew by not letting the doctors treat me I was killing Charlie, Renee, my friends. I was killing everyone who cared about me. But I can't take it, I can't fight when I know, in the end, I'm going to want to die anyways. I'm not going to fight, just to go back to the emotionless torture I endured before finding out I had cancer. The only reason I would fight now would be for _hi-_… for _Edward_. I winced. But he wouldn't care less if I died. No, I won't even try.

A small sob escaped me as these thoughts ventured through my head. I glanced at Charlie's sleeping form, to make sure he wasn't awake, watching the tears fall down my cheeks. I pulled my knees tighter to my chest and turned back to the window.

I had spent countless hours on the phone with Renee, listening to her beg and plead with me to accept the treatment. All my friends had come to see me and were downcast when they found out I was going to kill myself. I almost broke when Angela came in with tears in her eyes and left sobbing with a tearful Ben Cheney by her side. She was just so innocent so nice, I hated myself for making her cry. My brain was telling me to forget about Edward and take the meds, it told me to stop making my friends and family suffer. That's what my brain told me, but my heart said otherwise. And when it came to love… well, I was never very smart anyway.

Charlie stirred and I looked back at him, wiping away my tears. He didn't need to know I was suffering along with him. His eyes opened and he blinked, lifting his head off the chair he slept on.

He sat up and stared at me for a few seconds, a look of confusion on his face. Then he leaned over, putting his head in his hands, and groaned as if in pain.

"What's wrong dad?" I asked worry slipping into my voice. _Was he hurt?_

He looked up with tears in my eyes and an expression that broke my already shattered heart. "I though I was dreaming." he nearly moaned. "I thought all of this-" he gestured

around the room, "was just a nightmare I was having!" He looked into my eyes with tears dripping down his face and whispered, "But it's all true. You're really killing yourself." I couldn't stop the tears as they streamed down my face; I nodded, feeling the tears fall on my arms.

He groaned again and I looked back toward the window, biting my lip trying to hold back the tears. I heard him get up from the chair and walk across the room, I looked back to him. He was by the door, looking at me with determination. "I know why you're doing this Bella, and as much as I hate him for hurting you I _will_ find him. Because I'm not going to let him kill you." he said. My jaw dropped and my arms instinctively wrapped around my torso, trying to hold in the pain that this topic brought. But my eyes never left Charlie's.

He opened the door, but before he could step out I chocked out a word. "Don't." I said, still looking at him. He looked back at me with confusion.

"Why?" he asked I knew what I said hadn't changed his decision, he was just curious.

I swallowed back tears and spoke in a grim voice, "Because he doesn't love me. He doesn't want me. It wouldn't make a difference, no wait, strike that. It would make it worse." I said. What I said wasn't true, in fact just seeing his angelic face one more time, no matter the expression on it, would make me want to try. But I know hewouldn't feel the same, he would probably just feel bothered and annoyed that my dad dragged him here just to see a dying and desperate human.

And anyways, I'm not going to send my dad on an impossible mission. If Edward didn't want to see me ever again. Then he wouldn't.

But Charlie was stubborn, he looked at me with sad eyes. "I have to try Bells." he whispered. And he left. I buried my face in my arms and sobbed, _Why can't I just die already?_

**EPOV**

What a sight I must have been, barging through the front door of my families current home: covered in mud, sticks in my hair, old and torn clothes on. But at the moment, I couldn't care less about how I looked, I could have been wearing a cardboard box for all I cared. The only thing on my mind was Bella as I raced up the stairs and into the room where Alice's thoughts rendered. _Hi Edward. _ She had thought when I ran up to the house. When I opened her door she turned to me with a sad, grim smile and threw her arms around me in a sisterly embrace.

I hugged her back, quickly and impatiently, then pulled her away from me, looking intensely into her eyes. I then realized she was trying, unsuccessfully, to hold back sobs. I softened slightly and gave her a more meaningful hug then pulled back again.

"Edward," she said, her chin quivering and her eyes blinking at tears that would never come. "I wasn't just tricking you into coming home." She must have predicted me asking her that. "Bella really does have cancer, and she needs you. She's refusing treatment." I reeled back as if I'd been hit and bumped into Emmett, I looked up at him and saw my face in his mind. To him I looked helpless, scared his body radiated of sympathy.

I turned back to Alice but she spoke before I could bombard her with questions. "I don't know if she'll die Edward. I know she will if you just leave her, but of coarse your going to her." She caught herself before I could get angry.

_I would never leave Bella to die. _I thought, then felt guilty. That's the thing, I had done just that. I felt the whole open up again, the emptiness I've encountered ever since I left Bella. It wasn't unfamiliar, but it caught me by surprise all the same. I felt as if my heart was being forcefully torn. I tensed and hunched slightly under the pain, but no matter how much it hurt I couldn't hate the agony it brought. It was pain, but a pleasurable pain, it's better then feeling nothing at all.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and subconsciously knew it belonged to Carlisle. Then I felt a hand on my wrist, it was tense and very tight. I looked over to see Jasper with a pained and pleading expression. _ Please Edward! Stop!_ his thoughts directed to me. I stared back pained and shocked, I had forgotten about Jasper. I don't think he's ever experienced this kind of pain before.

I looked down, "Sorry Jazz. " I uttered, trying to hide away the emotions I felt. I heard his sigh of relief, he took his hand away after a reassuring squeeze. I heard someone choke back a sob from behind me.

I turned and saw Esme, I didn't need to read her mind to know she missed me. I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her, she started sobbing into my shoulder and rubbing my head as if to prove to herself that I was really there. She stopped crying and pulled back. She looked at me, smiled a shaky smile, and brushed some hair out of my face.

I tried to give her a smile and she started sobbing again. Carlisle embraced her. I dropped my sad attempt at a smile and looked down. She knew I was faking it, she could tell how miserable I was. I left her with Carlisle and turned back to Alice.

She looked at me sheepishly, I knew she was stalling. _If I told you right when you got here you would have left without even seeing everyone._ she confessed in her thoughts. I grimaced and she took a deep breath, "She's still in Forks, since she won't accept treatment, there's no reason to move her." I could tell everyone else had already heard this and were just waiting for my reaction.

I looked down then up into Carlisle's eyes. "I have to go to her. " I said, pleading with him not to make a fuss over it and try to make me stay. But apparently they were prepared for my answer as well.

Carlisle cracked a small smile. "Of coarse you do Edward. We're all packed to leave." My eyes widened and I got anxious.

"Then why are we still talking? Let's go!" I said urgently.

Carlisle raised his eyebrows. "Uhh, Edward. I don't think you should walk into an airport looking like that." he said and my jaw dropped.

I practically exploded. "Are you kidding me? The whole reason we had this long conversation and made Bella that much more likely to die is because of how I _look_?" I was furious. Carlisle regarded me with concern and understanding.

"Now Edward you know that's not why we're still here." he said and I dropped my head. I knew everyone had missed me, but I also knew that they would just be even more depressed if I was there. Especially Jasper. I looked up when he spoke again.

"We've got to keep up appearances, and we can't do that if we walk out into public with you looking the way you do now. All I'm asking is that you shower and change. Then we'll leave, Bella isn't going to die if we come twenty minutes later than planned." he concluded, only his wording made me flinch. He gave me a sympathetic smile and I walked out of the room with out another word.

Alice's thoughts saved me from the embarrassment of walking back into the room and asking where the bathroom was, she also told me she'd already put a change of clothes on the counter. I made a mental note to thank her later.

As I scrubbed the dirt and grim from my body, a very troubling question came to my mind. _What was I going to say to Bella? _I hadn't thought about that earlier, all I could think about was saving Bella. _Would she even want me there?_ The thought brought back the aching pain in my chest, I remembered Jasper and fought it down again.

I couldn't bear to think of what I would do if she didn't want me. I wouldn't blame her, after what I did to her it was almost expected. I had told I loved her many a time, constantly reassured her that my love was true. Then I had left her, heartless and uncaring I had left her crying, aching, injured. The ache came back, I welcomed it taking in the pain I imagined I had caused Bella. I was no longer aware of the hot water pouring down on me, nor of the fact I was in the same house as my family. All that could register through my mind was Bella. I had just barely seen her face in my mind when someone yelled my name. No. Someone _screamed _ my name, in a voice filled to the core with pain.

I jerked out of my reverie and realized it was Jasper calling me. Then there was a pounding on the door and Alice's frantic voice came from the other side. She was, once again, practically crying.

"Edward _please_! Whatever you doing please stop! Please stop!" she cried and I realized Jasper was, again, feeling my heartache. I took a deep breath and hid away the pain. I hated doing it. _As if_

_I'm hiding my Bella. _ I thought, ridding of the ache. Pulling my thoughts from Bella.

I sighed, everything went quiet. The only sound was the shower, spraying water onto my almost clean body. Then Jasper's voice floated through the house soft, tired, and sympathetic. "Thank you, Edward." Alice ran back to him and I heard her sigh of relief.

I turned off the water numbly, got out, and got dressed feeling no emotion at all. I left the bathroom and made my way down the stairs. Everyone was already there, waiting on me with expression full of pity. I hated it, but as hard as I tried I couldn't be angry at them for it. I couldn't feel anything, I stopped in front of them and read their thoughts for a moment.

_My baby, I can't stand this! _ came from Esme as she turned her head away, hiding tears that never came.

_Damnit Edward! Why did we have to leave? _Emmett thought, I shook my head. He tried using anger as a cover up for the pain he felt for me.

Sympathy, understanding, and patience is what I got from Carlisle.

_I'm sorry Edward. _Is what came from Jasper, he'd felt the pain I'd been enduring and was still in shock that I could endure it. What he doesn't know is that I endure that pain with pleasure.

Alice was biting her lip and looking down, all she would let me read was,_ We have to hurry._

But Rosalie's thoughts stopped me up short. _You shouldn't have been with her in the first place. She's just a weak little human, nothing to cry over. _she thought. My fists clenched, my lips pulled back, and I let out a fierce snarl that even scared me with it's inhumanity. Rosalie's eyes widened and everyone tensed as if waiting for something to attack. But I couldn't hold it back, anger filled me like a balloon. I crouched, still snarling, and was about to launch myself at her when I felt Emmett's hands on me, holding me back. I snarled at him and turned back to Rosalie.

"Liar!" I shouted. "You lie to me, to the family, and even to yourself, _Rosalie_!" I spat, as if her name were a disease on my tongue. I felt Jasper come up and help Emmett hold me back. "You're always saying how Bella was just a waste of our time and you always act like you're better than her. You always act like it's the fact that she's human that disgusts you." her eyes widened more as she realized where I was going with this.

"Stop it!" she nearly whispered, she was getting scared. And I knew it, I grinned evilly. I knew she didn't want the family to know the truth, it take a pretty big hit on her pride.

"Edward, knock it off!" Emmett said into my ear while glancing at Rosalie with a worried expression. He still kept his hold with Jasper, but he was getting distracted. He wanted to go to Rosalie and comfort her.

I narrowed my eyes at Rosalie. "But you're lying. You don't want her to be like us, oh no, you want to be like HER!" I shouted and her jaw dropped. "That's right Rosalie, you're _jealous_ of Bella!" I finished, glaring at her.

The room went silent. Then Rosalie's expression of fear and hate turned to one of anger and resentment. She looked down, clenched her fists, and looked back at me, standing up straighter then before. I new she was just going to make me even more angry, and I welcomed it. I'd prefer anger to nothing any day.

"So what? I'm jealous of Bella. I'm pretty sure we all already knew that." she spat. "And that's _not_ why I hate her. Do you know _why_ I hater her?" I tensed, getting ready to pounce. Emmett and Jasper tightened their hold, anticipating my next move.

"Rose don't." Emmett warned, only it sounded more like a plead.

Rosalie ignored him. "I hate her because she's giving up the best thing she has in this world, for you. Her humanity. I hate her because she's stupid!" she shouted.

And I pounced. I knew I'd never make it across the room to take hold of Rosalie's throat, but I was so angry I had to try. Emmett and Jasper caught me and forced me to the floor as I cursed Rosalie with my whole being. Putting every inch of my hate into my words. I thrashed against my brothers' hold, and only faintly heard Esme run out of the house.

Then I felt a fully clenched fist pound into my face. My head smashed into the floor and I looked up, temporarily stunned. I saw Emmett fuming above me and Carlisle's face carefully composed.

"Snap out of it Edward!" Emmett shouted, his clenched fists shaking. "Look around you and look what you've done!" he said through clenched teeth. And I looked.

I saw Rosalie, still in shock, with an expression of pain, hurt, and regret. I saw Alice, in Jasper's arms, sobbing. I could faintly hear Esme sobbing in another room and I saw Carlisle looking worriedly in her direction.

I felt the pain rise in my chest and I knew there was no hiding it this time. I saw Jasper tense and give me a panicked look. I looked down, "I'll meet you at the airport." I murmured in a voice that Carlisle described as pain filled and destroyed. I ran out of the house, into the woods.

And I kept running, and running, and running. All the while feeling the ache in my chest increase. Until the pain was so bad I tripped, luckily I caught myself before my clothes could get ruined. The pain took control of me, it opened me up, it squeezed me shut, it broke me apart, it sewed me back together. I took advantage of the pain and flew through memories of Bella in my head.

When our hands first touched and electricity shot up my arm. The first time she said my name in her sleep. The blush that rose to her cheeks when I asked about her theories. The laughs we shared in daily conversation. The way she stared at me when I took a bite of her pizza. The irony of her disgust towards blood. Our first kiss. The tears in her eyes when I first played her, her lullaby. The pride I felt when I introduced her to Carlisle and Esme. The jokes we made on her old truck. The first time she told me she loved me. The fun we had at the baseball game. The selflessness she showed when we it was only she who was in danger. The trust she gave me to save her life. The peaceful look she had when she slept. The words she said to me before the medicines put her to sleep in the hospital. The dance we shared at prom.

I eventually remembered that I had to meet my family at the airport and I fought the pain down. After all the pain was gone, I once again felt emotionless. As if it had all been drained from me. I check myself to make sure my clothes weren't torn or dirty. Then I ran back to the house.

I found a note on the garage telling me my Volvo was here and that the keys were in the ignition. When I got to the highway, I sped up to 180 mph. I had missed the feeling of my car. My car didn't drive on the road, oh no, my car _glided_. It moved over the road as if it was floating. I distracted myself with the feel of my car, but soon enough the exit for the airport came up and I was forced to pay more attention to my surroundings.

When I found a parking spot in the airport I walked to the front entrance and took and unnecessary breath. Then I walked forward to what was expected to be the most hellish plain ride I will ever endure.


End file.
